Thought #2: Negative Energy, Stress Relief, and Reality

Do you ever have one of those days where you just think about your life? All the good things, all the bad things, all the positives and negatives, and all that you take for granted?

I get mad thinking about my life. Actually, not mad. I don't know what I feel. My mind is just like one big scribble when I think about my existence.

"Why do I exist?" I always ask myself. "What is my purpose?" And I'm still not able to answer this question. Someone asked me today if I knew what I wanted to go to school for, and I said I don't know. I am only a sophomore but it seems like everyone else that is my age has their whole life planned out. I feel so far back, like the odd one out.

I'm not really good at much, and I've never really had a specific talent that I am really good at. I used to dance, but I quit. I used to play piano, but I stopped going to lessons so now I can't read music; I either look on YouTube or listen to the song I want to play and try my best to search for the notes. I took violin lessons, but I quit. I suck at poetry, I can't draw but I love art. Photography is cool, too. But my DSLR lens is broken at the moment, so that prevents me from taking photos AND also from furthering my "YouTube career." I don't even know why I started one, I hate being in front of the camera. And I also hate talking. That's one major thing I'm really not good at. Especially when I first meet someone. It's insane how awkward I am. That's probably why people don't ever approach me lol.

I've always wanted to start a group of inspirational youth. But with no friends (at least who have the same visions I do) and no resources, what can I do? Nothing. Sit back and watch other peoples ideas sprout and come to life. Depressing much?

So far life has been one big bottomless black hole. And I have to look forward to the end of that black hole, aka THE FUTURE (cue the suspense music).

I need to meditate, read more, create more art, and take more pictures to relieve me of my stress. -_-


I was reading this book called The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life and it talks about how us modern human beings have a different way of viewing "Reality" than how people did back in ancient days. It also talks about how different we breath in prana, which is the life-force energy of the whole universe, then they did.

People now and days are very closed-minded and ignorant and stubborn when it comes to spiritual and metaphysical topics like this. Everyone believes their own thing when it comes to God and Reality. There are so many different theories and concepts and ideas, that almost everyone has something different to say about it. What we don't understand is that we all are like apples from the same tree. We come from the same place, and we all are of the same Oneness (as said in the book).

Many people do not know about the pineal gland, which is the spot on your forehead right in between your eyebrows which allows you to view what your naked eye could not see.
We also have an counter-rotating energy field surrounding us called the MerKaBa. It resembles a 3-D version of the Star of David.

There is a tube that runs from both the apexes of the MerKaba. This tube used to run with prana, and we used to know how to breath from this dude. But in time we forgot how to properly breath in prana from this tube.

I really want to learn how to restore my breathing back to the way it used to be. This should help me a lot emotionally and physically.