Contemporary Fantasy Series

This was my first photo shoot with actual models and it went extremely well. My models dressed so well and the pictures turned out beautiful!

So here are the photos (: hope you enjoy!

What To Do When You Literally Have No Life In The Summer

Say you’re a high school teen, and you have literally done nothing with your summers. You spend all day binge watching Grey’s Anatomy, eating ice cream and scrolling through Twitter. You plan on getting up and maybe going outside, getting fresh air. Possibly going to the gym because you’re getting a little pudgy. You apply to so many jobs but they NEVER get back to you (and why? It’s not like the hiring managers are doing anything but sitting at their desks anyway). You take all this stuff from your mom about how you’re such an indolent teenager who fits the perfect image of the “modern day teen” (aka, someone who just sits around the house all day and basically eats, sleeps, and repeats).

So what do you do about that? It’s time to get out of the house and explore the many possibilities the world has to offer. How can you make your summer interlude into an enjoyable summer, WITHOUT spending too much dinero?

1. Look into your local museums summer programs
1. I guarantee you that your local art/science museums have a bunch of cheap and/or free summer programs. Make use of it! Go online and research and find out what types of programs they have available. It will be a great way to meet new people that have the same interests as you AND you’ll also gain some experience about your hobby!
2. Become an editor/contributor for an upcoming literary magazine/zine
1. No matter how experienced or how old you are: apply for anything! If you like to read and critique work, you should find a place that will be willing to let you be an editor for them! And don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. Be confidant and above all, practice what you’re doing. I’m 16 and I’m an editor for an online literary magazine ran by teens. You can do anything you set your heart out to do. If you want to contribute your art, writing, or photography, keep making that art. Keep taking those pictures, And keep writing. Practice makes perfect, and that way you’ll have a wide variety of stuff to show to others!
3. Volunteer your time to do something helpful around your community
1. Where I live, there are a lot of places that need people to help pick up trash around the neighborhood. Volunteer jobs range from that to helping at the local animal shelter. It varies, so take a trip around your neighborhood and see if anyone is looking for volunteer help!
4. Write, take pictures, paint amazing art
1. One of my goals this summer is to artistically inspire myself in any way possible. I plan on doing so many photoshoots this summer, and I plan on writing a bunch of short stories/poetry and work on painting flowers (painting flowers is my weakness). Make plans for yourself, set goals, have ambition! Make art. It’s a form of therapy and above all just fun.
5. Learn about metaphysics!
1. If science/spirituality is your cup of tea, then metaphysics is the topic for you! Metaphysics is basically the philosophy that talks about theories dealing with reality. I recommend the book The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life to get you started. It’s a book that deals with things from the MerKaBa to the Eye of Horus. Although it may sound boring, it’s actually pretty interesting and I believe everyone should read it to gain some knowledge.
6. Go thrift shopping
1. You can never go wrong with thrift shopping. I could spend a whole day in there. There are so many cool vintage things you can find in a thrift shop. No matter where you live, there is bound to be a thrift shop near you. So just spend a day at the thrift store! Explore! I guarantee you’ll find something interesting there to purchase.

So, no longer do you have to sit at home (like me) bored and doing nothing. There's plenty to do! Just gotta look (;

See ya later!

Lauryn

Life Update!

I haven't posted in so long and I feel so disappointed in myself. I meant to keep up with this blog, that was actually one of my year goals. But I haven't been committed and I feel horrible!
I'm gonna try really hard to post more this summer, and I might actually be able to follow through with that because I have a lot of free time.

This summer, I have a lot of photo shoots planned. One that is coming up on the 23rd is called my Contemporary Fantasy Series. I'm soooo so so hyped over it. I plan on having my models dress up (differently) in pastel type colors and .. well, I'm not gonna ruin the surprise.. but I guarantee it'll be good! I'm planning on posting them on here as soon as they are all taken & edited.

Speaking of editing, I might change up the format of this blog (and hopefully get a domain). Like the .com thing lol. I'm supposed to be getting a job soon and so I'll have enough money to do that and also make this website not look so plain-jane.

ALSO speaking of editing, I have recently become an editor for an online literary magazine (Polyphony H.S.) AND a POV (Margins Magazine). I am so so so excited to start with Margins! I already started for Polyphony and I am loving it already! I asked my Editor-In-Chief at Margins if it would be okay for me to be a writer and editor. Didn't get a reply back yet, but it could just be because I'm very impatient lol.

So just to recap, I will be keeping up with this blog, I will be posting pictures from the photo shoots I do soon, and I'll post some of my writing or whatever (if you guys wanna see it)

See ya, loves!

Lauryn

Thought #4: Can Minorities Be Racist? (con,t)

You can't oppress your oppressor. Reverse oppression does not exist!

Please take a look at this article! It explains everything, I promise.

#QOTD

"Music is a safe kind of high." -Jimi Hendrix

Old Memories Make New Ideas

Isn't it funny when you're digging stuff from the deep tunnels of your room and you find the craziest and oldest stuff? I found this notebook with a whole bunch of ideas for a book I wanted to write for teen girls. It's funny, because I had probably only just turned 13 when I wrote these.

 I had all these dreams about how I was gonna be a YouTuber and maybe one day, a famous author. I loved reading those books dedicated to girls my age. And I loved reading fantasy books. I was just a real book worm. I wanted to be the person writing the books. I wanted to create something of my own. But, of course, that would require a lot of help from others. And I didn't have many friends and I hated talking (still do).

The reason that I'm putting this up here is because I actually had some really good topics in this notebook to write about. Now, not all of them are good. Some of them are horrible. Like how to fake tan. I don't really think anyone (in my circle) would be interested in that. And I don't know how to do that anyway. But certain stuff in here I think would make good blog posts. 

I just have to believe that if I want to do something, I can do it. No matter what anyone tells me. I just have to work hard at it and have a passion for it. And I have a passion for this and many other things. I just have to set my mind to it and work hard at it. That's my goal. That is what I must do. 

I've always told myself that I wasn't really good at anything, and while that may be true, I'm decent at doing some things. I may not be the best at it but I can be. If I, once again, work hard at it.

I think a big inspiration for me is J. Cole. He worked really hard to be where he is today and he doesn't brag about his lifestyle to the world, but rather he raps about loving who we are and appreciating the life we have.

Lauryn

School, Motivation, and Thinking of the Future. What a drag.

Have you ever thought about your life in the near future? For example, have you ever asked yourself questions like am I gonna be in school? Will I have a car? Will I have friends? What will my major be? Will I still be living with my parents? Et cetera et cetera...

Lately I've been asking myself these questions a lot. I have no idea why. Part of it might be because I am picking classes for my junior year and I'm kind of being pressured into figuring out what I want to go to school for. And that wouldn't be a problem if I actually knew what I wanted to be. But that's just the issue! I don't know what the heck I wanna do with my life. And I know it's still pretty early to be deciding, but at the same time college is just around the corner. And my grades have also been slipping, and my counselor sees that too. She even asked me, "Are you ready to take on the responsibility of taking 3 AP classes?" But the thing is, I'm pretty confident about it. The AP classes that I'm taking are ones I actually enjoy. I like reading and writing, so I'm taking AP Language and Composition. I like learning about our history, so I decided to take AP U.S. History. And lastly I decided to take AP Psychology because I want to know more about humans and emotions and the reasoning as to why certain people are the way they are and why different people act certain ways. That may be more sociology, but who knows. I guess I'll figure out when I start the class in the fall.

Lately I've also been comparing myself to students who get really good grades. I envy them. I always think of what makes them so dedicated to their school work.. I just can't get motivated. Which is, in part, why I don't do my homework sometimes and don't study. Lack of motivation = no working. But I guess that attitude is kind of changing, considering this year is almost over and I have less than 3 years left of high school. I should probably get it together now, huh?

What a drag.


Lauryn

Inspirations #1

SOOO.. LET'S TALK INSPIRATION!

Lately I've been on social media a wholeeeee bunch, and I've seen so many inspiring accounts and posts and they're all just overwhelming me. So here are a few that I picked to show today.

#1: Sensitive Black Person

@sensitiveblackperson

I have high respects for this being, and I say being instead of girl because she doesn't prefer the pronouns she/her, but rather they/them. Besides being only 15 years old, this young one is a photographer, contributor for Rookie, an activist, and the list can go on and on. She literally makes me jealous because she has already accomplishes so much at such a young age, and I'm 16 and I haven't really accomplished anything.

Her photos are absolutely amazing. She certainly has an eye for taking pictures. The contrast of most of her photos and the quality is just great. And on top of that, she still manages to keep her grades decent with having AP classes.

I really wish I knew her because I feel like we would be really good friends.

#2: Rian Phin

@thatadult

Rian Phin is a YouTuber, blogger, feminist, and contributor for Rookie also. I first saw her YouTube videos and I was hooked instantly!! I could not stop watching. She inspired me soo much to thrift shop and to start dressing like I actually cared lol, because before I would literally throw on some sweatpants and a hoodie and leave the house. Now I actually plan out what I'm gonna wear, and part of that is because of her.

She has these amazing DIY clothing videos that can save you money BIG TIME. I swear like, this woman is amazing. 

That's all for now, I'll do more inspiration posts later.

Goodbye loves (:

Lauryn

What's It Like Being You?

The life of me.
Yikes.

There's really nothing to say about my life besides it being one big mess. Right now, yes, my life is a mess. I'm a mess. Hot, steaming mess. My room right now looks like a tornado flew through it. Clothes all over the place, desk all messed and torn up. I don't even want to do my homework in there because I'll get distracted thinking about the mess my room is.

Speaking of homework, I HAVEN'T BEEN DOING IT. Well, I have. But it's been a real struggle. It's so hard trying to learn new stuff, especially in Chemistry and Trig. Those are my two worst subjects. I don't know if I can make it through the rest of the semester without completely losing my mind.

But wait, Lauryn, you still haven't told us what it's like being you.

YOU'RE CORRECT.

What is it like being me? Good question. I actually don't know.

Lauryn is a person, a human being, with little knowledge of herself. She has no idea of who she is and why she's here. She constantly questions herself and questions the world and is often looked at as "odd" or "crazy, in a good way." She wants to be everything but is nothing in reality, because her soul can't quite grasp onto what she wants. She is everything in the universe yet she's nothing on earth. And she's sorry to get all weirdly poetic on you, but she can't help it.

Why does she keep talking in third person?
OK stop.


A little about my life, no I don't know what I want to be. And it frustrates me everyday. I feel so unprepared.. like I'm going to wake up one day and my whole life has passed me by. I don't want that. I want to know what lies ahead of me so I can prepare myself for it.... but I know that isn't possible in today's world.


I wake up and look in the mirror and I don't particularity like what I see.. but I mask myself with "beauty" to make myself look better. And I quoted "beauty" because it's only what society thinks makes women look beautiful. Natural beauty is key, I'm just not comfortable with that natural beauty thing yet.. my face is off lol. It used to be so cute and proportional, but it's not anymore.


I'll continue this little rant some other day lol.

Until then,

Lauryn

Thought #4: Can Minorities Be Racist?

Today, I was trying to have an interesting conversation with someone about racism. The question was asked, "Can minorities be racist?"

Just a disclaimer, this is only what I believe is the truth. I know many people have different opinions on this topic and anything can be true depending on how you define racism. 

I define racism as a group of people who have power wherever they are and use it against the minorities around them. And, to me, those people are white people.

Now I just want to say, I have nothing against white people. Half of my family is white, and I love them. 

In America, minorities don't have overall power. And we don't have the overall population, not yet at least. 

I read a paragraph by David Pilgrim of The Jim Crow Museum. It reads, "I would not be a sociologist worth my salt if I did not acknowledge that racial minorities (and women) do not have a proportionate share of power, prestige, property, and privilege... a minority (seen as a category) does not have the same or as many opportunities to hurt (discriminate against) the majority group."

I just really can't believe that minorities can be racist. Because in order to be racist you have to have power and privilege, but in this country they don't have that. So how does that make any sense?

I guess I will just have to do more research on this because everyone in my class was trying to prove me wrong. They are just not seeing it from another point of view, which I guess is true for me, too. So tonight I will be looking more into this subject. 

Thought #3: Tarot Reading, Epiphanies, And A Yearning For A New Lifestyle

Recently, I came across this person on Instagram who does tarot readings online. If you don't know what tarot readings are, it's basically just like reading your future, per say.

She was saying some stuff that really pertained to my life, such as in having a creative breakthrough and a major change in my life. Like, my likes and my dislikes, my hobbies, etc. And it was really true. I have no idea where she got this information lol but it really fit me. And I'm going to take that information and use it in my life. 

She was basically saying how a sudden passion has showed up in my life, which is true. I recently have started loving art and photography and getting more and more intrigued by it, and wanting to make works of my own. And she said that I shouldn't be afraid of change, because new doors are opening for me in my life. She said I should take what life gives me. She also said other stuff about my anxiety and my fears, but we're not going to get into all of that lolol. 

Recently I've been feeling really out of place. Almost as if I don't really belong anywhere. I'm talking about my race, my personality, my gender and et cerera. I don't really fit in anywhere, really. No one really "gets" me, if you know what I mean. And there's nothing wrong with that I guess. It's just somewhat disappointing that I can't find one single person near me to hang out with on a daily basis and we actually have the same hobbies and stuff. If I can just find one friend like that, I'll be satisfied.

Now don't get me wrong, I love the friends I have. They really have gotten me through rough times. Seriously. It's been a journey and the ones who stayed are the real ones. And I truly love them for that. 

My lifestyle just has been changing a lot lately. And I feel like my life is transitioning into a new phase. But there's no one to really relate to that. I don't know anyone (at least near me) who loves the type of art that I do, likes photography, listens to music that I do, and so on and so forth. And it's somewhat disappointing. 

But anyway, I'm done ranting now.

Lauryn

ColourPop Review: Best flipping lip brand!

I just want to start by saying that COLOURPOP HAS THE BEST MATTE LIPGLOSS I HAVE EVER USED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

I bought 5 colors from them: Avenue, StingRAYE, Tulle, Limbo, and Bad Habit and oh my god. When I say these colors are absulutely beautiful, I mean it. Hopefully I'll have some pictures of them right here.

It goes on like gloss at first, and they after about 20 seconds it starts to become matte. And it feels natural! You can barely tell that you even have lip product on.

Recently, ColourPop has been getting a lot of attention. Well, more than they used to. Everyone I know is now like, "Oh yeah, I have heard of them. I just ordered from them, I hope they're good." And I'm just like "HECK YEAH THEY'RE GOOD??!???"

I have been searching for the perfect lip brand and I'm pretty sure I have found it. I loceeeeee love love ColourPop, and when I order more colors I will be sure to do a more in-depth review! 

If you want to see me with their lipstick on, you can go on my Instagram @laurynevelynn

Lauryn

Thought #2: Negative Energy, Stress Relief, and Reality

Do you ever have one of those days where you just think about your life? All the good things, all the bad things, all the positives and negatives, and all that you take for granted?

I get mad thinking about my life. Actually, not mad. I don't know what I feel. My mind is just like one big scribble when I think about my existence.

"Why do I exist?" I always ask myself. "What is my purpose?" And I'm still not able to answer this question. Someone asked me today if I knew what I wanted to go to school for, and I said I don't know. I am only a sophomore but it seems like everyone else that is my age has their whole life planned out. I feel so far back, like the odd one out.

I'm not really good at much, and I've never really had a specific talent that I am really good at. I used to dance, but I quit. I used to play piano, but I stopped going to lessons so now I can't read music; I either look on YouTube or listen to the song I want to play and try my best to search for the notes. I took violin lessons, but I quit. I suck at poetry, I can't draw but I love art. Photography is cool, too. But my DSLR lens is broken at the moment, so that prevents me from taking photos AND also from furthering my "YouTube career." I don't even know why I started one, I hate being in front of the camera. And I also hate talking. That's one major thing I'm really not good at. Especially when I first meet someone. It's insane how awkward I am. That's probably why people don't ever approach me lol.

I've always wanted to start a group of inspirational youth. But with no friends (at least who have the same visions I do) and no resources, what can I do? Nothing. Sit back and watch other peoples ideas sprout and come to life. Depressing much?

So far life has been one big bottomless black hole. And I have to look forward to the end of that black hole, aka THE FUTURE (cue the suspense music).

I need to meditate, read more, create more art, and take more pictures to relieve me of my stress. -_-


I was reading this book called The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life and it talks about how us modern human beings have a different way of viewing "Reality" than how people did back in ancient days. It also talks about how different we breath in prana, which is the life-force energy of the whole universe, then they did.

People now and days are very closed-minded and ignorant and stubborn when it comes to spiritual and metaphysical topics like this. Everyone believes their own thing when it comes to God and Reality. There are so many different theories and concepts and ideas, that almost everyone has something different to say about it. What we don't understand is that we all are like apples from the same tree. We come from the same place, and we all are of the same Oneness (as said in the book).

Many people do not know about the pineal gland, which is the spot on your forehead right in between your eyebrows which allows you to view what your naked eye could not see.
We also have an counter-rotating energy field surrounding us called the MerKaBa. It resembles a 3-D version of the Star of David.

There is a tube that runs from both the apexes of the MerKaba. This tube used to run with prana, and we used to know how to breath from this dude. But in time we forgot how to properly breath in prana from this tube.

I really want to learn how to restore my breathing back to the way it used to be. This should help me a lot emotionally and physically.

Do I Dare Try Something New?

I never would have thought that I would write poetry.

My mom always wrote poetry, even now she still does.

She always used to tell me, "Just think of anything to write and write it. It doesn't matter if it rhymes or what it's about."

I never really followed her words.

This year, I'm going to try and start writing poetry.

I've already got a couple of poems on Wattpad. 

My name is @laurynevelynn on Wattpad, check them out. (:

-Lauryn

Dated, January 1, 2016

I've been reading up on the philosophies of time and all the theories the coexist with it. It's really interesting what people are saying about time.

Basically, some people were saying how only things that are in the present (experiences, objects, etc.) are real and that the past and the future aren't real and that is proven by the memories of the past and the expectations of the future.

Time is objective. But in my opinion, the measurement and perception of time is subjective and man-made. Time will keep moving even without a clock.

Don't you know how when you take a nap and you think you've only slept for 5 minutes, it turns out that you have been asleep for 3 hours?

Did time change or did the general notion of it change?

Another thing: you notice how when you want time to fly by fast, it goes by slow. And vise-versa. Why is that?

Based on your thinking, you perception of time is different. So if you are paying attention to time because you want it to go by fast, you're thinking too much about how badly you want the clock to tick faster.

And if you don't want time to go by because you are having fun, then you're not really focusing on the clock, but more about the good time you are having.

I want to read more about these theories and post way more about them, because this is totes interesting.

Lauryn